In Response to an Unsanctioned Outburst of Free Speech…

In response to an unsanctioned outburst of free speech
We have updated our laws, rules, and guidelines of free speech

Free speech is permitted everywhere
That isn’t symbolic of this institution

Free speech is accepted anytime
Between the hours of 9 to 5

Free speech is encouraged in all forms
Unless you write on buildings,
set up tents,
wear masks,
sit on the ground,
or talk too loudly

Our utmost priority is our your safety
All good movements follow authority

Please be aware that the practical difference
between laws, rules, and guidelines
Is that violation of any
will result in a broken nose

Free expression and free inquiry are integral to who we are as a community
So we would like to provide assistance on how you may exercise your rights:

You may draw in chalk
It will be washed

You may write letters
They will be ignored

You may attend town halls
They will be scripted

You may pass referendums
They will not be followed

Above all we are committed to free speech
But don’t you dare
Do it in a way that bothers the Man on Carr’s Hill.